"...but first it will piss you off"

reblogged from The New Agenda (my own words)  http://www.thenewagenda.net/2014/04/23/but-first-it-will-piss-you-off/ 

In an instant, I opened my eyes to the gender inequality in portraits that adorned the walls of my alma mater, Cornell University. I was studying in the nutrition building this past Fall when I glanced up and noticed the faces of three white men in suits watching over me from where their portraits hung. This is despite the fact that Cornell granted the first Ph.D. in nutrition to an African-American woman (Flemmie Kittrell in 1936) and that the female undergraduates of the Nutritional Sciences department outnumber the males 495:190 (from the department administration as of April 2014).

Upon noticing this imbalance in one building, I started noticing the same imbalance in other buildings. Portraits of men hung everywhere, and the rare female portrait was most often a famous man’s mother or wife. Again, this is despite the fact that Cornell University has been admitting women since 1870 and boasts some of the most notable alumnae in a variety of fields. These portraits and the names of the buildings that housed them were sending us clear messages about who is important and valued, and it went something along the lines of wealthy, male, and white. If I asked the average Cornellian today to list some famous alumni, they could easily rattle off the names of the libraries, auditoriums, administrative and academic buildings. They would be naming men. But they would be forgetting Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Frances Perkins, Janet Reno, Pearl Buck, Barbara McClintock, and hundreds of other impressive women of Cornell.

I couldn’t think of a good reason for this besides that portraits reflected who had the money and the power, and I couldn’t think of a good reason for who had the money and the power besides that it was the way it’s always been in our patriarchal society. This seemed less than satisfactory to me.

It’s like Gloria Steinem said, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

The next logical thing to do was to get other people pissed off with me. I started posting on facebook, twitter, and instagram about the problem, and would upload pictures of the offending portraits with the hashtag “#showmethewomen.” It was a call for Cornell and its students to wake up and take notice of the gender inequality that surrounded them.

The hashtag caught on and my friends started uploading photographs and tweeting about gender inequality in portraits, building names, gender ratios in certain departments, business club leadership, and so on. More and more people were beginning to see that the women of Cornell were being short-changed. It was time to act.

My friends and I secured $800 in funding from the university for a special project and got to work naming notable Cornell women, listing their accomplishments, and finding their photographs. We went as far back as Class of 1873 and even included a Class of 2014 member, Olympic Gold Medalist Brianne Jenner (Canadian Women’s Ice Hockey). We asked students to nominate female professors and administrators who had made an impact on the Cornell community and included them as well. This culminated in an art exhibit of 250 black and white photographs of Cornell women that was displayed in the student union for the month of March.

The exhibit attracted students, community members, professors, faculty, and even the women featured! About 25 of the women whose photographs hung on the walls of the exhibit were able to come and view their “portraits.”

The exhibit received enormous praise and great press. Hundreds of people filtered through the gallery over the course of the month and I received countless emails of encouragement and gratitude for the project.

There were people who didn’t get it though, as I knew there would be. Some of my male friends who helped me put the exhibit together couldn’t help but comment on the attractiveness of each woman’s portrait we hung. Others still claimed that it was “only a matter of time” before women’s portraits hung in equal numbers beside men’s at Cornell, and that the exhibit was unnecessary or even wrong.

Although the exhibit has been taken down, #showmethewomen is just getting started, and so am I. The experience taught me to be confident, to take action, and to gather my friends and champions around me. I started seeing the world in a whole new way, and I helped other people start to see it too. I learned that social media can only take a cause so far, and sometimes you need to make things happen in the physical world. Today, I am constantly disappointed (and often pissed off!) by all the places that still need to #showmethewomen, but I feel prepared and excited to start doing something about that.

Fearless Women of Passover

Moses gets most of the press when it comes to Passover, the epic story of

freedom from slavery we are commanded to repeat every year around this time.

Moses is the Prince of Egypt, the Prophet, the face of the Israelites. He gets

credit for splitting the Red Sea and for leading the Israelites out of bondage.

But who gets credit for Moses?

There is a saying that “behind every great man, there is a great woman.” In this

case, there’s a whole softball team of great women behind Moses. And these

women had no reassuring chats with God in a burning bush, no magic rods, no

plagues to back them up. These women were just fearless.

First, there were the women who gave Moses life. These were the midwives who

did not follow Pharaoh’s command to put all newborn Israelite boys to death. As

Rashi understands it, Pharaoh gave this command to Joheved (Moses’ mother)

and Miriam (his sister) directly, and they directly disobeyed, allowing the baby

boys to live. This included Moses.

Then, there were the women who saved Moses’ life. This was Pharaoh’s own

daughter, who found the floating baby Moses and recognized him as “one of

the children of the Hebrews” and had compassion on him (Exodus 2: 5). She

raised him as her own, knowing from day one that Moses was alive because

her father’s orders were disobeyed. Then came Moses’ wife, Zipporah. In one of

the Torah’s most mysterious dramas, an angel of death swallows half of Moses’

body while they are camped in the desert, and Zipporah recognizes this as a sign

to circumcise her son. “So Zipporah took a sharp stone and severed her son's

foreskin and cast it to his feet” in order to save Moses’ life (Exodus 4:25). This

tale of “the bridegroom of blood” is an often overlooked example of Zipporah’s

bravery and quick-thinking.

Finally, after Moses has led the people of Israel on a dangerous, miraculous, and

utterly exhausting chase through the desert and the sea, Miriam sees the people

are in need of a pick-me-up. “Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a

timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with

dances” (Exodus 15:20). Miriam’s energy was contagious, and all the women

joined in without being asked. Miriam’s selfless style of leading by example and

inspiring people to action through her own enthusiasm is a model for all of us.

So this year, when you tell your children of our exodus from Egypt, don’t forget to

give credit to the fearless women in the Passover story who made it possible.

And may you love life like the midwives, be brave like Joheved, have the

compassion of Pharaoh’s daughter, be quick-witted as Zipporah, and exuberant

like Miriam.

Finding Your Inner Esther--Some words on Purim

Esther does not assume her post as Queen of the Persian Empire with a passion or

expectation for activism. She does her own thing in the harem, listens to the advice of her

“uncle” Mordecai, pleases King Ahasuerus, asks for little, and follows directions. Unlike

her predecessor Vashti, Esther seems content with a degree of passivity in her role.

Even when it is her time to step up and save the Jewish people living in the 127 provinces

of the empire, ranging from India to Ethiopia, Esther devises a plan to first please the

king with banquets before requesting anything of him. When Esther finally speaks

up on behalf of her people, the king is eager to reverse the decree and punish the man

responsible.

Perhaps the impetus for Esther’s bravery comes from Mordecai’s advice to her, “For if

you will remain silent at this time, relief and salvation will come to the Jews from another

source, but you and the house of your father will be lost. And who knows if it is not for

just such a time that you reached this royal position” (Esther 4:14). Queen Esther breaks

her silence to save herself as well as her fellow Jews.

Mordecai scares Esther into taking action, but he also reminds her that she is in the right

place at the right time to make a difference for herself and for her community.

The story of Purim tells a grand tale of the Jews’ survival, but it is also a step-by-step

guide to advocacy.

Step 1: Keep your friends close. Mordecai and Esther are the winning team in Shushan,

but neither could do it without the help of the other. Foster your friendships and gather a

circle of champions around you who will support you, advise you, inspire you, and give

you a kick in the right direction when the time comes.

Step 2: Choose your battles. Find your inner Esther and be agreeable. Avoid extraneous

demands. Use humor to diffuse tension instead of exacerbating it. Give people the

benefit of the doubt if they misspeak or are unaware of their privilege. Allow thoughtless

offensive remarks to be an opportunity for education. Make people want to help you

when it’s really time for a fight.

Step 3: Make the Ask. It can be difficult to address people of authority with a request.

Whether you are speaking on behalf of yourself, your community, or both, feel entitled

to ask for something directly (especially if you’ve done a good job with steps 1 and 2!

). While Esther addresses the king humbly, she doesn’t beat around the bush when she

asks for her life and the lives of her people to be spared. The clarity of her request makes

it even easier for the king to grant it. A strong “ask” can mean the difference between

getting what you want and getting what someone else feels like giving you.

And who knows? Perhaps you have reached your position for just such a time as this.