Soon to be a major motion picture

Okay, here goes my first video. It's sups awks because I thought I was going to do a different one, but I rewatched it and realized that if I did another one it would probably look like I was trying too hard, and it's pretty accurate that any blog video would be awkward. Maybe I'll do more of these if I get positive feedback.

The next day:

nativyerucham.weebly.com is a work in progress!!!

The Whole Megilla

I am sitting on a hotel bed looking out at Jerusalem right now, despondent, helpless, and lonely for lack of internet. This word document will have to do until I return home to my beloved Yerucham, place of friends, traffic circles, familiar faces, and routine.

On Wednesday, I woke up early for a little volunteering before I left for Jerusalem, but after a series of vague text messages and dissatisfying phone conversations, it became clear that I would not be able to work after all. This situation was even more frustrating because had I known earlier, I would have gone to visit the other half of Nativ (read: Meir) on Kibbutz Ein Tzurim the night before and left with friends to come to Jerusalem from there.

Even my best laid plan was thwarted by forces outside of my control, and I left Yerucham on Wednesday at 11:30 am alone. The bus to Be’er Sheva was pleasant, and it was not too hard to find the bus from there to Jerusalem, which took longer. These bus rides gave me too much time to think about the book I had just finished, The Time Traveler’s Wife (which is really quite incredible and tragic). The book, which I devoured over a period of four days, is not only a beautiful literary feat but also a brain catalyst that makes the reader think about things that are sad, scary, overwhelming, and would generally turn a person crazy if he or she were to contemplate these issues on a regular basis. Such items include: free will/predestination, whether everything that will happen has already happened and is happening now and everything happens at the same time but we move through time (think Slaugherhouse Five), miscarriages, marriage, cheating, suicide, drug use, AIDS, hypothermia, limb amputation, helplessness, love, family, manic-depressive disorder, death, cancer, car accidents, and other things--this book has really got it all. It really got me thinking, obviously, and I considered articulating my detailed conclusions here, because it is my blog after all and I can write what I want, but I decided instead to sum up by saying: I don’t want anything bad to happen to me, and I am going to try very hard to find a husband who is not chronologically impaired because it would really stress me out if he was always disappearing and going to 1973 or something.

Once in Jerusalem, I decided to take a bus to the hotel because my bag was heavy. The bus driver forgot to tell me when to get off, so I went about fifteen minutes too far in the other direction. Exactly what I didn’t want to happen, and exactly why I wanted to travel with friends! Anyway, I figured I had gone too far, got off, and met an angel at the bus stop across the street while I was waiting for the bus to come and bring me back the way I came. He helped me navigate, helped carry my bag, helped me not freak out, and just talked to me. He was a religious man, probably in his late 20’s or early 30’s, and he was actually sent from God himself to guide me to the Ganei Moriah Hotel on Wednesday February 17th. I finally arrived, four hours later from when I started, and checked into my room. I was half an hour late.

I came to Jerusalem in the first place because I am attending a MASA College Leadership seminar for these four days where we focus on how to advocate for Israel on college campuses in North America and become Jewish leaders. We talked about Jewish identity, heroes, leadership qualities, went on a walking tour. I’ve done all of this before and most of the people I’m with (16 total participants from other gap year programs, mostly Young Judaea) also have, so I don’t understand why everything we say must be reiterated by each person in the room. I find the group discussions very repetitive, and it seems like each person just wants his or her chance to word the same idea in a different or better way. I want new ideas!!!! I am begging for new ideas.

The walking tour was really cool because our tour guide was good and I learned some new things. Today we’ve already had quite a few activities and it’s only 2:30, but again, mostly things I’ve done before, in one way or another. There’s this general feeling of all of us slapping ourselves on the backs and “preaching to the choir” has come up at least twice today. I’m having a little Holden Caufield attitude right now, which is not the group attitude at all, and I feel like I’m just sitting in this room with phonies. It’s probably not the best outlook, actually. After this reflection, I’m going to try some self-criticism and I’ll tell you how it goes later.

Several Days Later:

I love being home in Yerucham in my cute little apartment where my friends are busy singing 90’s music and cooking a group dinner, but I miss my amazing friends from the MASA leadership program!!!!

As it turned out, I loved the people on the program, and they weren’t phonies at all, I just wasn’t expecting their enthusiasm and interest to be as genuine as it was. I went out with my new friends on Thursday night and we made the homeward trek to dear old Crack Square. On Friday, we visited Har Herzl and the Begin Center, which are both great of course, and I skipped out on a little programming to have my Wheels Interview!!! Regardless of the outcome, it felt great to talk about Wheels for an hour, and it got me really excited to staff USY (hopefully on Wheels, but if not, all the other things I plan to staff!). Meir surprised me at the hotel at 8:15 am and showed up in the lobby at the moment we were getting on the bus for the day, and then I saw him again after my interview for a while and we walked around Jerusalem for a bit. It was magical.

Friday evening, instead of going to services, I had a spirituality discussion with the group leader and my friend Alon from Year Course. It was a really cool discussion but also hard because we were really trying to be honest with ourselves. We had more programs and lectures over Shabbat, including a super deep boundary breaking bonding program late on Friday night. Saturday was nice, I did yoga in the morning on the roof with some girls and then we had a day of programming and lectures. I was sad to say good bye!

After we checked out of the hotel, Haley, Marc, and I walked to Beit Nativ to see Mayaan, the receptionist whom we miss and love. There, I ran into David, and he gave me the much needed information regarding transportation home to Yerucham and we planned to meet at the bus stop and travel together, which really took a load off. Then we met Brian at the top of Ben Yehuda, I got a milkshake, they got beers, we were all happy, and then we walked to the bus station where I met Meir who had just come from the airport to get a bag he lost, and before that he was in Modiin. It was quite the logistical miracle, I must say. We were able to spend about a 95 really high quality minutes together, and during that time we also got to see his brother David and Chen. It was great. The midnight bus home to Yerucham wasn’t too bad either, and it was nice to have some Nativers with me.

Yesterday I worked at the high school for a long, full day. It was very hard. The 8th graders that are flunking out of every class were calling me really bad names and the teachers have no control over them! But I felt like I helped a few kids, and that made it worth it. After school, I picked up my photos for my wall (which make me sooo happy!!!!), bought kippah crocheting materials (failboat, so far...stay tuned for good news updates on the kippah front), and I went to a Hebrew lesson. The Hebrew lessons are so hard here because it’s a mix of levels and I am at the bottom of the class and I’m embarrassed because I don’t know anything. But it’s not my fault that I don’t know anything so I try not to be despondent and just work hard. Anyway. After Hebrew, we had an apartment dinner which was delicious and cute and everything you ever dreamed 9 girls living together would look like whilst dining. Adorable. The night concluded with a screening of Josh’s Italian Z-Job documentary and a super fun meeting of WWC with Jonny and Seffi.

Today’s story involves me breaking some Nativ rules, apparently, but I don’t think that my staff cares about me enough anymore to read my blog so I am not worried about what I write here. And if they do read it, then they’ll know that I don’t think they care about me anymore and then they’ll feel bad and probably won’t yell at me anyway. Anyway, the story: Today was supposed to be a regular day at school, so we were all ready to go at 8:15 in the teacher’s lounge when we found out that classes were cancelled in place of Purim spirited fun day. We hung around for an hour, there was nothing to do, we went home. I got on a bus and went to Be’er Sheva, Kastina, and finally to Ein Tzurim, the kibbutz where the other half of Nativ is staying. Meir broke his foot yesterday so I went with him and Nadiv to the hospital in Ashkelon to get the x-rays and cast etc. This did not please staff because, apparently, the proper procedure when we are presented with free time is to alert staff and wait for them to find something for us to do. Somehow, I was the only high school volunteer out of six who received any kind of reprimand today, even though no one else called staff or volunteered extra. Despite this one setback, the day was great and the hospital was fine and everything turned out fine. It was great to see the kibbutz too-it’s really beautiful!! I left there around six, caught a ride out of kibbutz with a nice religious man who lived in Gush Katif pre-disengagement, and he took me to Kastina. The bus ride home was really nice, especially since I knew where I was going. I love the desert at night and the isolated pockets of civilization that appear as collections of gold lights against complete velvet black, and everything fit perfectly with my musical selection of Ratatat-check it out if you are not in the Ratatat loop-it's fun for all ages!

I got home in time tonight to send out my laundry, put up my pictures, and fail at crocheting. What a good day.

Everything is Better Now

A few things made today so much better than any day so far in good old Yeruru:

1. Mold Cleaning!!!! Some angel swept in and out of my apartment while I was gone and made the place so much more livable than I ever thought possible.

2. First day of work!!!! It's hard. Like really hard. I teach at a secular high school and I have the worst students I've ever seen in my life. The teachers have no control. No one has any control. It's crazy. All the same, I really feel like I made connections today with about three students, and I am bound and determined to make myself useful and make a difference in their lives. I love, love, love to have a purpose in life.

3. Baking!!!! Miri and Becky baked, Debbie and Rachel and friends made peanut butter cups, sugar and chocolate flowed freely in the apartment kitchen all afternoon. What a delight to come home to!

4. Grocery Shopping!!!! I went by myself and the store was almost empty. I shopped with a clear head and the goal of health in mind, and I didn't worry as much as usual about price because I knew I just needed to get some real food. I feel much better about my eating situation (although the stove is still broken...hmmm).

5. Hebrew Lesson!!!! So the truth comes out-as much as I may procrastinate or complain about schoolwork, I am really just a student at heart. I feel so much better about myself when my mind is soaking up anything new and there hadn't been much structure to my learning for the last month and a half (that's allowing for the "you learn something new every day" thing, because I wasn't in school, but I guess I was still learning. Especially when Debbie was a tour guide at the Forum, even though she forgot about Caesar's grave). The lesson was a big challenge because all levels were together and I am at the very very bottom. I am going to learn things though!

6. The Parade!!!! Becky started shouting, "there's a light up car! there's a light up car!" and Adina called me from the street. My whole apartment went down to join the festivities for a new Torah. There was a light up car playing really loud dance music and Jewish music and men dancing with a Torah and women dancing behind them and people with cameras and police and all that jazz. It was the best. We danced like madmen for 45 minutes in the main street of Yerucham. It was incredible. We sang, we talked to people, we held hands and ran in circles.

I love this place.

The Reverse Exodus

I fear that I cannot do justice to the past week because so much has happened, and I am so busy in my new desert home that it feels like there is no time at all. On Thursday morning of last week, Nativ set off in two buses amid the once yearly Jerusalem snow flurry to go hiking in the desert. Because of flash floods (which are actually the coolest things ever to drive through on a bus), our Ein Gedi hike was closed, so some people went to Masada and I went with the other group to the Ein Gedi Spa. We bathed in a hot sulfur bath, covered ourselves in mud and cleaned it off in a sulfur shower, dipped in the Dead Sea, did a quick dive into a freezing cold outdoor pool (it was a dare, and there was peer pressure), and finished with some nice classic showers.

We ended our day at the Bedouin Tents. To be clear, Bedouins do not actually live like this. The ones that don't make their money giving American teenagers camel rides and tea tend to find more illegal means of sustenance, ranging from stealing from kibbutzim to trafficking drugs and women from Egypt. Anyway, we learned about the polygamous Bedouin lifestyle from a real live Bedouin, who had a nice sense of humor about it (can you guess his gender?), and he entertained all of our prying questions (he's going on his fourth wife and he has 13 kids). Then we ate a hearty Bedouin dinner in a freezing cold Bedouin tent, braved the cold drizzle outside for a little campfire, and turned in for an early night.

In the morning, we found out that flooding had closed off our planned hike for the day, so a group of us decided to tough it out in the rain and cold on a different hike. There was a lot of rock climbing involved which made it really mentally challenging as well as physically challenging, which I really liked. The hikes tend to bring out the best in people, especially some of the boys that you wouldn't expect. Not that I wouldn't expect Max to be encouraging, but when I was losing steam on a long uphill, he made a really inspiring speech about how rewarding the view at the top will be, and he was right, and it was really nice. People also just help each other a lot and are very considerate, which I like.

From the hike, we drove to Kibbutz Ketura, which is about 30 minutes north of Eilat. We got oriented in the guest house area, saw some baby animals, and got ready for Shabbat. Shabbat was nice, services were really pretty, we had some learning programs but nothing intense. I had been feeling a little under the weather so I went to sleep shortly after dinner and skipped the tisch.

Saturday morning services were led by Nativers and they were lovely. Then we got to walk around and see the algae factory and the date palm orchards, which were beautiful. There were donkeys in the orchards roaming free who ate the weeds around the trees so everything was done without spray. It was a really great afternoon. I napped for most of the time and then I visited the baby camels and the baby cows and the baby horse. I think my personal heaven will be filled with all types of baby animals.

On Saturday night, we split in half again and some people played soccer against kibbutz teenagers and my group went to Kibbutz Lotan for a relaxing evening, and we learned how to do shiatsu massages! It was really fun and both groups had a good time. Sunday was a chill day, and I did a little crafts project in the morning and then we all went to sand dunes in the afternoon. The sand there is not from quartz so it is extra fine and so soft and fun to play in. There was quite a bit of horseplay and tackling and diving into sand dunes and it was all great fun.

On Monday morning I went for another hike with half the group. It was very scenic and fairly easy. We got to Eilat in the afternoon and went to Kings City, which was a very shitty but very funny little amusement park. I was with fun people and we laughed at the shittiness but the problem was that it actually cost Nativ a lot of money! I felt bad when I found out the admission price afterward, but what can you do. Our boat was cancelled because of weather so that was our alternative activity. We were free for the evening after that and I had some nice pizza on the boardwalk and walked around. The next day in Eilat, the determined Nativers woke up at the crack of dawn to climb Har Shlomo, which was a long and rewarding hike and included a lot of rock climbing. On the way down, Miriam broke her foot and the logistical nightmare that ensued was actually one of the most incredible things I've witnessed. Two Nativers volunteered to stand on either side of her and hold her while three Nativers raced down the mountain to get a stretcher from the bus, then two more stayed halfway down to meet them along with Yossi, the guard, and another Nativ staff member. Most of us finished the hike in four hours but it took Team Miriam a full seven, and they had to eat lunch at a very late hour. It was very amazing how everyone came together. I was not a part of Team Miriam so I am only able to wonder at how they did it, since there were parts where the drop was vertical and the only way to climb down was to use hooks that were stuck into the side of the mountain.

We had lunch at Hallelujah and then I napped the afternoon away because the hike really knocked me out. I had dinner with Nativ and then strolled the boardwalk at night with friends. The trip was not at all what Nativ had planned, but still it was extremely fun, relaxing, and interesting.

The day we moved to Yerucham lasted for what felt like approximately two weeks. The morning dragged on because of a hospital run and we were about two hours late to start our bus trip, and it was also the day of Yerucham/Kibbutz split which was naturally a stressful/emotional time for all, especially me. We took a bus break at our usual Yellow/Aroma proverbial oasis and then we were on to Be'er Sheva to "eat lunch." We ended up getting there around 3:45 pm to get a mumps booster shot instead. Good times.

Yerucham's twinkling lights and palm lined streets welcomed us around 6 pm when we finally arrived in our new desert home. The unpacking process continues to this moment, two and a half days later. Apartment living is rough. One shower is hard to share among nine girls. I don't like it when the kitchen sink pipes spew water onto the floor. I don't know what to buy at the grocery store in order to achieve a minimum level of health. There are gangs of feral cats waiting at the dumpsters where we have to leave our garbage.

I need to go help the mold removal team in my apartment before Shabbat starts. Can't wait for all the "don't worry, everything turned out fine" that will hopefully come in my next post!!!

Swaying in the beauty of creation

Today was another winning day of the seminar. After horizontal ear dropping tefillot and a hearty breakfast, I set out with my group to tour the Supreme Court building. The building is less than 20 years old, extremely beautiful, and very symbolic. The tour of the building was interesting and necessary. The Supreme Court in Israel serves as an appeal court as well as a high court of justice that deals with human rights cases. The differences between the court systems in America abound-Israel doesn't use witnesses in the Supreme Court, surprisingly.

From there we visited a youth hostel for some programming on the constitution, or rather, lack of constitution in Israel. We talked about pros and cons, important issues for a constitution to address, and then we tried to write some constitutional laws for ourselves about the Jewish nature of the state. The discussion was thought provoking and it also made me kind of annoyed with some of my fellow Nativers. Good program though.

We ate lunch at the youth hostel and then visited the Gush Katif museum which commemorates the Disengagement from Gaza in 2005. I learned soooo much and it was very powerful. I am still processing and thinking about all the images and statistics there. Our guide in the museum had lived in the Gaza strip for about 25 years and had 9 kids there. The museum helped me most with one thing: it put into perspective why it was worth it to live in Gush Katif in the first place and why it was so painful to leave in 2005 when Sharon instituted disengagement. The guide said his family was moved into a hotel for what was supposed to be 10 days but ended up being 7 months, and they were only told to pack for 10 days. Some families put furniture in storage only to get it back months later completely destroyed. Beautiful (really, beautiful) homes and neighborhoods were totally demolished, along with synagogues. Cemeteries were dug up and the bodies were relocated. The worst part is that it didn't achieve much afterward. Israeli politics are difficult.

We walked home through the shuk and napped before dinner, and then we went to one of the most unique and inspiring experiences of my young life!!!!! We went to Not On Bread Alone, a play by blind AND deaf people about everyday life as a blind/deaf person (they cannot live on bread alone, they have dreams and need love and company etc). The play was amazing and the actors were so inspiring. They baked bread during the play and we ate it hot out of the oven after the show and got to talk to the actors through interpreters afterward too. Some Nativers got to use a braille code to talk to one actor. They would hold his finger and rub it over one letter in braille at a time on a card and then he could understand the words. Very amazing.

The title of this blog post is a translated line from a song in the play. I loved every minute!!!

Learning is Beautiful

Starting Sunday morning and ending on Wednesday afternoon, Nativ has a multi faceted program called Israel Today Seminar, and so far, it has been a wonderful educational and cultural experience.

On Sunday, we davened together, breakfasted, and Jeff Barak (check out his credentials! ) from the Jerusalem Post came to speak with us to open the seminar. His main theme focused on the large numbers of Haredim and Arabs in Israeli society today and how that is affecting politics, welfare programs, poverty, education, leisure and culture, and Israel's reputation among other countries. It was a really interesting speech and he was a captivating speaker in a journalist kind of way, which was nice; he wasn't charismatic and charming and loud like politicians, but he was quieter and very intelligent sounding, and I think the British accent especially helped. It made me a little worried for Israel's demographics in the future, because it is a democratic state and if these two groups continue with their high birth rates, they can vote whomever they choose into office.

From the opening speech, we divided into groups and went to the Menachem Begin Center. It was surprisingly an outstanding museum. It was so well done because it was almost completely automated. We walked into rooms and our headset immediately started talking to us, tvs immediately started showing original footage of speeches and history, and the rooms were all set up relevant to the topic per room. For example, when we learned about Begin's time in the Irgun, we were in an underground living room/headquarters type of room, and when we learned about the election, we were in a campaign office. The museum flowed, and we were never anywhere quite long enough or comfortable enough to fall asleep. At the end, I was really moved by the unfortunate series of events in his second term that led him to resign, the death of his wife, and finally his own death. It felt like a movie only it was real! A great museum, really.

We had a bit of free time and I took the opportunity to put in my ear drops (a thrice a day ritual that requires immense planning because my head has to be horizontal for a good half hour afterward) and take a well deserved nappy. Feeling refreshed, we all went back to the auditorium for a panel on the Israeli Defense Forces. Three of our Nativ staff as well as another boy and another girl were on the panel, and we talked about some really deep issues. I was amazed at the courage and sense of duty that the past soldiers had. They talked about eating tuna sandwiches three times a day for days at a time (which is actually my personal nightmare come to life) and all I could think was-I could never serve! There are people on Nativ who are planning to join the army either next year or after college and after this talk, I just have sooo much more respect for them than ever before. I think it's amazing that people find a cause so important that they want to volunteer to risk their lives, and if not risk lives, than at least give up creature comforts for years at a time!

Last night concluded in perfect first semester fashion: 6:30 pm dinner in the dining hall, hanging out with friends, spending some quality time in room 632, and getting my full 8 hours. Beautiful.

This morning began with services, for which I mostly horizontal from the waist up, breakfast (Italy made me so appreciative of Agron food!!!!! I regret ever complaining! But wait, let me explain: we usually ate one nice meal a day. The rest of the time, we were scrounging for the cheapest way to get calories to fill us until the next meal. It resulted in quite a few McDonalds milkshake-fries-yogurt parfait situations), and heading off with my group for our day of Israel and the Environment. We went first to an ecological farm where everything is made out of mud buildings and there are donkeys roaming free (one of them was a stray and they found him on the street and brought him to the farm!), chickens chillin, geese, sheep, dogs, and lots and lots of vegetables and trees. It all started seven years ago and it has grown into an amazing place where they reuse things in really creative ways.

Following the farm, we toured a recycling plant outside of Tel Aviv. I learned a lot, but it wasn't engrained deeply enough so that I could teach other people about it. It was super cool to see the garbage and the sorting machines and the mountain of garbage that they're going to turn into a park. The visitor's center had incredible art made out of recycled objects and all kinds of neat things.

The day ended with a movie at a Cinematheque in Holon, at least I think that's where it was. We watched The Lost Islands, an incredible Israeli film from 2009 about twin boys growing up in Kfar Saba in the 1980's. It's about their family, their love lives, their love for each other, their army service, and their dreams. It was so powerful! The main point of the movie, I think, was that the loyalty was to the family for everyone, but at some times, so that you don't die inside, you have to be loyal to yourself first. It was so complicated, and the people had real complex personalities and real screw-ups and the plot was not streamlined or predictable or happy like Hollywood movies. At the end, after watching this family love, hate, and cheat on each other, the dedication read, "to my family, who taught me how to love." I was so confused, and moved, and upset. My emotional range can't handle that though, so I just cried. People laughed. It was a great movie though.

We ate dinner at a really cool mall in the bottom of a skyscraper in Tel Aviv and then we went home on the bus. What a great day. I love life.

Ear update! I will be going to an ear doctor on Wednesday afternoon! I'll let you know how it goes.