Decades later on the same date, I gathered with a group of women in an auditorium at Xerox in Webster. We came together on our lunch breaks from various jobs (or summer vacation activities, in my case) to network, to build each other up, and to participate in the nation-wide programming for National Girlfriends Networking Day, hosted by the New Agenda Foundation.
After securing my veggie wrap and Sun Chips, I started to learn about the incredible women with whom I shared that auditorium. Scientists, strategists, business women, writers, artists, and more. Each woman brought something unique to the group and--more importantly--was eager to share her experiences and expertise.
We settled down for introductory remarks and watched a live streaming of a panel discussion happening at the same time in New York City at the New York Times building. Soledad O'Brien, Lesley Jane Seymour, Kym Hampton, and Loretta McCarthy all shared their incredible journeys with us, sprinkled with practical advice and how-to's. The panel was moderated by my role model and fellow Cornell Kappa Delta Sorority sister, Amy Siskind, co-founder of the New Agenda.
The panelists all emphasized the importance of learning from failure and growing from it, the joy of being a woman today, and the absolute imperative of women helping other women. I was energized and inspired.
On my post-NGNDay run around Brighton, an old song popped up on my iPod as it shuffled through my embarrassing collection of 90's rock, country western, and the kind of music one should only hear in a frat basement.
These are the words of the song's chorus:
"I don't want to waste my time/become another casualty of society
I'll never fall in line/become another victim of your conformity
And back down."
Judging by context clues, the lyricists had something very different in mind when they penned the words to this angsty tune. But National Girlfriends Networking Day, and my experiences over the last year working with the New Agenda as a member of the Young Women Leadership Council, allowed me to interpret these lines in a completely new way.
I'm no longer thinking about conformity in terms of superficial aspects like the way we dress or the kinds of music we listen to. I think it's important to be yourself, but I enjoy trendy things and I really don't feel bad about it. Now I'm thinking about conformity in terms of ideas we accept about the world around us. Conformity as it relates not to how we look, but how we respond to challenges and how we proactively address obstacles.
Here's the conformity I can't stand: internalizing stereotypes about women (or any other minorities). Believing that women should have stereotypical roles in society. Accepting that women are underrepresented in top leadership in companies and government. Judging women who choose to work AND raise a family, or just work, or just raise a family. Maintaining society's double standard for women. Talking about a woman's hairstyle or appearance in the media in order to detract from her viewpoints or accomplishments. Doing nothing about the fact that women are not treated fairly in our country and thinking that it's okay to sit back because other people are working on it. Saying that you're not a feminist because you don't want to ruffle feathers (or avoiding ANYTHING because you don't want to ruffle feathers). Saying that you're not a feminist because you've never taken the time to think about what it means to be a feminist in 2013. Saying that you're not a feminist because you don't think guys will think it's attractive.
Yeah. That's what I can't stand. And I'll never back down.
If falling in line means going along with the anti-woman agenda that the media has laid out for me, you can bet that I will NEVER fall in line. I will not become a casualty of society.
Dear World,
Prepare to have your feathers ruffled.
Love,
Jordana
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