I walked to the dinner with Adva, the Israeli fellow, my best friend. We talked about the latest in anti-Israel sentiment on campus: Richard Goldstone is coming. Yes, the same Richard Goldstone who became a household name after writing a 500 page report on war crimes during Operation Cast Lead. Let's say this: not my best friend. Anyway, we talked about him and how to deal with other anti-Israel sentiment on campus, since it is all very intellectually based and liberal and not the wild fanatic stuff you see in some places like Berkley. People aren't dressing up like soldiers and holding you at water-gunpoint if you want to cross the bridge from North campus to Central. But what they are doing is slowly chipping away at the legitimacy of a Jewish state by continuously bringing in speakers to talk about Israel's racism, alleged Apartheid, and now war crimes. Beautiful.
Anyway, we got to this dinner early, and I was one of the first people there. I was underdressed. Soon more people arrived and Telushkin himself arrived with a bit of a posse and we all sat down. I didn't even notice at the time, but I sat down at a table for 8 next to Adva, who was sitting next to Telushkin, so we could continue our conversation. We all went around the room giving introductions and after everyone had said I'm the President of this or the Vice President or the Treasurer or the Whatever of that, I said "Hi, I'm Jordana Gilman, and I hope to one day hold those positions," which was met with polite laughter from the crowd of about 40 people. That is the story of how I accidentally ate dinner with Joseph Telushkin.
I actually ended up speaking to him a great deal over the course of the dinner. He was interested in getting to know all of us on some level, and we talked about Israel and other college campuses he had visited. He had just been in Rochester at U of R and had done the drive down to Cornell on one of the most beautiful fall days ever--so of course that gave us something to talk about because I am quite familiar with that experience. We talked about his background, his kids, the book he's working on now, other books we've read, and the structure and involvement of Hillel at Cornell. He gave a short speech about the questions the Talmud says we will be asked right after we die: Were you fair in business dealings? Did you set aside time to study Torah? Did you try to raise a family? Did you pray for the coming of the next world? It was a good talk. I participated and he actually stopped the talk to write down what I had said! It was before he had told us what the Talmud said and he was looking for ideas from the crowd. No one was raising a hand so I figured I'd say What is your proudest achievement? because I figured that was a pretty good sum-up-your-life question and although the Talmud doesn't think that, Rabbi Telushkin does.
His talk was all about the teachings of Hillel. He set up the talk like this: a soundbite of Hillel>explanation>global ramifications>relation to personal life.
Here are the soundbites that he mentioned. Not all of them are from Hillel:
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
What is hateful unto you, do not do unto your neighbor.
A hero is someone who overcomes bad impulses.
A rich person is someone who is happy with what he has.
If I am not for me, who will be for me?
If I am only for me, what am I?
Your people shall be my people, your God shall be my God.
Oh little girl, fall into the river again that I might save us both.
A life is with people.
Because I lived, there was more light in my parent's home.
In justice shall you judge your fellow human.
Even good people don't like to read novels about good people.
If you don't study Jewish sources, all you have is a Jewish heart. To have a Jewish head, you must study.
If not now, when?
When you reread a classic, it isn't that there is more in the classic, there is more in you.
Still to come:
explanations of each of these quotations
all the words you can make from the letters in Joseph Telushkin
Stay tuned!
Next day:
Next day:
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
This was presented as an example of something extremely wise and insightful that has lost its importance as it has been incorporated into our culture as a cliche. How do we make a cliche relevant again? Live by it. This is a metaphor for Hillel's teachings, which have become so overused people don't know how to follow them anymore.
This was presented as an example of something extremely wise and insightful that has lost its importance as it has been incorporated into our culture as a cliche. How do we make a cliche relevant again? Live by it. This is a metaphor for Hillel's teachings, which have become so overused people don't know how to follow them anymore.
What is hateful unto you, do not do unto your neighbor.
The Golden Rule in the negative. It is not as demanding, more practical, and less subjective. Should we grieve over the death of every person like we grieve over the death of a loved one? No, that just doesn't make sense. My family matters to me more than my family matters to other people, and your family matters to you more than your family matters to me, and I like things that way. Also, what of the person who doesn't love himself? If you're your own worst critic/enemy/whatever, it would be great if we didn't "love" our neighbors in that same way.
The Golden Rule in the negative. It is not as demanding, more practical, and less subjective. Should we grieve over the death of every person like we grieve over the death of a loved one? No, that just doesn't make sense. My family matters to me more than my family matters to other people, and your family matters to you more than your family matters to me, and I like things that way. Also, what of the person who doesn't love himself? If you're your own worst critic/enemy/whatever, it would be great if we didn't "love" our neighbors in that same way.
A hero is someone who overcomes bad impulses.
Often, a hero is described in terms of a physical deed or an act of bravery. These don't come up so often. An opportunity to display heroic virtues comes up a lot if you view it as the ability to overcome bad impulses. I like the more traditional definition of a hero also, because there are people who show extreme bravery in risky or difficult situations, and it is important to me that those people are shown the respect they deserve. But you also deserve respect for overcoming bad influences!
Often, a hero is described in terms of a physical deed or an act of bravery. These don't come up so often. An opportunity to display heroic virtues comes up a lot if you view it as the ability to overcome bad impulses. I like the more traditional definition of a hero also, because there are people who show extreme bravery in risky or difficult situations, and it is important to me that those people are shown the respect they deserve. But you also deserve respect for overcoming bad influences!
A rich person is someone who is happy with what he has.
Not satisfied with what he has, is the caveat. When you're satisfied, you lose motivation and you don't grow. When you are happy, you enjoy what you have but are still motivated. Oh Hillel, you were a thinker! And Sheryl Crow agrees: It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.
Not satisfied with what he has, is the caveat. When you're satisfied, you lose motivation and you don't grow. When you are happy, you enjoy what you have but are still motivated. Oh Hillel, you were a thinker! And Sheryl Crow agrees: It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.
If I am not for me, who will be for me?
Stand up for yourself!
Stand up for yourself!
If I am only for me, what am I?
If you are only for yourself, you become a What and not even a Who.
If you are only for yourself, you become a What and not even a Who.
Your people shall be my people, your God shall be my God.
After Ruth's husband dies, she still wants to be a part of the Jewish people and remain family with her mother-in-law. She says this line in a way that sums up a vital value of Judaism, one that has kept us alive against all odds: we are a people, a community, a family. It's why supporting Israel goes beyond political and practical, it is religious. It's why we have Operation Solomon and we donate to Jewish organizations. That, and guilt, I think. Although so far I have only been on the receiving end of donations to Jewish organizations. One day soon I'll start paying my dues!
After Ruth's husband dies, she still wants to be a part of the Jewish people and remain family with her mother-in-law. She says this line in a way that sums up a vital value of Judaism, one that has kept us alive against all odds: we are a people, a community, a family. It's why supporting Israel goes beyond political and practical, it is religious. It's why we have Operation Solomon and we donate to Jewish organizations. That, and guilt, I think. Although so far I have only been on the receiving end of donations to Jewish organizations. One day soon I'll start paying my dues!
Oh little girl, fall into the river again that I might save us both.
Not Hillel. A man somewhere watched a girl drown and was paralyzed for whatever reason while she was drowning. The guilt, sadness, pain ate him alive until he was very old. He says this line to say that not only would he have saved the little girl while she was drowning, but that act would have saved his own life, in a spiritual sense. >>Doing good things for other people is good for you, too!
Not Hillel. A man somewhere watched a girl drown and was paralyzed for whatever reason while she was drowning. The guilt, sadness, pain ate him alive until he was very old. He says this line to say that not only would he have saved the little girl while she was drowning, but that act would have saved his own life, in a spiritual sense. >>Doing good things for other people is good for you, too!
A life is with people.
It's fun to keep Shabbat when everyone around you is keeping Shabbat and there is lots to talk about and board games to play and festive meals to enjoy. It is way less fun to be not only electronically disconnected from the world but socially connected as well if you are alone on Shabbat. This is only one example. I think that being with people makes everything more worthwhile and enjoyable. Just take Abbott's Frozen Custard, for example.
It's fun to keep Shabbat when everyone around you is keeping Shabbat and there is lots to talk about and board games to play and festive meals to enjoy. It is way less fun to be not only electronically disconnected from the world but socially connected as well if you are alone on Shabbat. This is only one example. I think that being with people makes everything more worthwhile and enjoyable. Just take Abbott's Frozen Custard, for example.
Because I lived, there was more light in my parent's home.
About the tradition to light an extra Shabbat candle for each child. >> Rituals can convey love. It is important to not only observe Jewish rituals but put meaning and love behind them.
About the tradition to light an extra Shabbat candle for each child. >> Rituals can convey love. It is important to not only observe Jewish rituals but put meaning and love behind them.
In justice shall you judge your fellow human.
Put yourself in another person's shoes before you judge. Telushkin challenged us to go 24 hours without judging. Rachel put an x and a line on my notebook and I signed it, and I made an x and a line for her and she signed it. I realized that night as I fell asleep that when I stopped in her room to say good night, we talked about our friend's boyfriend and how we would definitely not ever go for him and how we didn't get why she was so into him and how annoying he appeared from his facebook profile. Fail. Do I get points for feeling bad about it retrospectively?
Put yourself in another person's shoes before you judge. Telushkin challenged us to go 24 hours without judging. Rachel put an x and a line on my notebook and I signed it, and I made an x and a line for her and she signed it. I realized that night as I fell asleep that when I stopped in her room to say good night, we talked about our friend's boyfriend and how we would definitely not ever go for him and how we didn't get why she was so into him and how annoying he appeared from his facebook profile. Fail. Do I get points for feeling bad about it retrospectively?
Even good people don't like to read novels about good people.
If you talk to a friend about a mutual friend for twenty minutes, will the conversation go like this: "oh, you know THAT story about how nice she is? Let me tell you THIS story about how nice she is. You won't BELIEVE what a great person we know!" or this: "oh, you know THAT story about what a skank she is? Let me tell you what I heard!" Replace skank with any age appropriate mean thing. You get the idea. Obviously Telushkin didn't give the example using the word "skank."
If you talk to a friend about a mutual friend for twenty minutes, will the conversation go like this: "oh, you know THAT story about how nice she is? Let me tell you THIS story about how nice she is. You won't BELIEVE what a great person we know!" or this: "oh, you know THAT story about what a skank she is? Let me tell you what I heard!" Replace skank with any age appropriate mean thing. You get the idea. Obviously Telushkin didn't give the example using the word "skank."
If you don't study Jewish sources, all you have is a Jewish heart. To have a Jewish head, you must study.
If not now, when?
When you reread a classic, it isn't that there is more in the classic, there is more in you.
Ok, so I didn't feel like explaining the last three. But I think that they can speak to you even if you don't know exactly what Telushkin said. Basically, Jews need to be good people AND study Jewish sources. Hey, nobody said it was easy.
JOSEPH TELUSHKIN:
skin
kin
the
lush
lone
help
pelt
in
on
one
honk
shot
open to suggestions...
fascinating!
ReplyDeletewhere are all the words you can make from Joseph Telushkin? I've got: hep, kin,tush,tushes, shin(s), skin(s), stun(s), lets, let, nets, net, het, tenses, tense, tens, ten, kits, kit, kites, kite, lush, lushes, pets, pest, pet, jets, jet, jest, jests, uses, use, poles,pole, pols, pol, holes, hole, hoes, hoe, shoes, shoe, I could probably go on for quite some time.
ReplyDeletewow mom i just saw this. you're way better at this than i am.
ReplyDelete