Currently Seeking Meaning

Today was fairly routine--an intense Ulpan session (although today it took place in the Rothberg building, which was a nice change of scenery, buuuut that scenery included a clear view through the classroom window of the security wall that always makes me feel a little uneasy), a dairy date with Shara and friends, a poorly air conditioned bus ride home, a little napping here and there, and a good run. The run was a new route today, and I ran to the edge of the Old City and did a steps workout at the Mamilla Mall and then I ran up the hill to go home. It was glorious.

Erev Nativ was interesting tonight because we had a lecture on the Conservative Movement by Rabbi Joel Roth. He asserted that the Conservative Movement is the most authentic religious movement and he proceeded to explain four reasons why that is true and how the Conservative Movement is different from Reform and Orthodox movements. I soaked in a lot of what he was saying, and a lot of people took notes which I may borrow and then relate to my blog followers (I've secretly started calling all of you Jordana-junkies). I mainly felt that the talk was informative but not as persuasive as the speaker would have wanted it to be. I was not prepared to totally drop my 18 years of understanding of what kind of Jew I am just because this man is an authority on the subject. I definitely agree with a lot of what he was saying though, and I learned a lot from tonight. There were many mixed reviews from Nativers afterward-some people slept through the whole thing, some people disagreed, some people are like me, and some people agreed whole heartedly.

A main point that I really like tonight was the fact that observant conservative Jews are not Orthodox just because they pray regularly, keep kosher, keep Shabbat, etc. My grandmother has a very hard time understanding this fact, but I feel that it is very important to note now while I am still finding my religious niche here in Israel and then for when I return to America and want to continue with some of my new practices. For instance, my ideas on gender "equality" have changed tremendously in the month I've been here (I put "equality" in quotes because I hardly see it as an equality issue anymore, more of a question of spheres) and I definitely love the feeling of keeping Shabbat, something that I never quite got around to at home. I will say though, keeping Shabbat in Jerusalem is a totally natural, easy thing, and it is not even an issue to walk and rest and everything, whereas in other places (like Tel Aviv, I just learned) it is not as easy.

I am at a spiritual crossroads right now. I'll keep ya posted. Feel free to comment with insight!